Important Things I Learned When I Gave Up Social Media

In today’s day and age, our lives are increasingly spent by looking on our cell phones and peering at what social media is offering us. Studies are linking social media to increased depression and anxiety, and companies like Apple and Facebook have been taking steps to change how we interact with technology, in a move towards improving our “digital wellness.” Apple recently released a software update that includes the ability to track our screen time, and Facebook is working to change how the information we put on the internet is used. All this talk about screen time and our mental health happened to coincide with a social media detox that I embarked upon earlier this year. Why did I do it? How did I do it? What did I learn? Read on to learn more.

The Why

Feeling somewhat drained in my day-to-day life, I decided to change what I was exposing myself to on a daily basis. I was experiencing mental fatigue due to a variety of factors. Mainly, I found I was constantly comparing myself to others. Social media is deceiving because you only see the “highlights” of a person’s life. This is an understandable phenomenon. Historically, we’ve been taught to “put our best foot forward,” and social media is a 21st-century extension of this tendency.

Am I guilty of only posting the highlights of my life? Of course. Does that make me a bad person? No. But do I need to reconsider what I’m sharing across the internet? Yes. Reevaluating what I was sharing, and more importantly, why I was sharing certain things, was another major reason I took a social media break. Do I really need to post to my account every time I take a selfie that hides my morning hair, whenever my outfit looks good, or alert a bunch of social media strangers of my whereabouts? Probably not. While content like this may make more sense on a person's public account dedicated to beauty, lifestyle, or travel, it didn't work for me. From then on, I decided to take a holistic look at what I was posting and why.

Social media is deceiving because you only see the “highlights” of a person’s life.

The How

At first, instead of cutting out social media entirely, I took a few initial steps to test out the waters. The platforms I encountered daily included: Facebook, Instagram, Linkedln, and Snapchat. During my social media detox, I logged out of my Facebook account (but kept Messenger on), logged out of my Instagram account, removed the Linkedln app from my phone, and deleted Snapchat altogether.

Prior to logging out of my Facebook account, I removed the Facebook app from my phone. Messenger I kept because that was where my closest friends and family reached out to me if they needed me. If you don’t want to deactivate your Facebook account but still want to cut down on time spent on the platform, removing the app from your phone is a great first step — this removes the temptation to constantly “check-in” with your newsfeed and reduces the time you spend mindlessly scrolling. I didn’t really struggle with logging out of Facebook or deleting Snapchat. I removed the LinkedIn app from my phone but maintained my profile. Even though I don't use Linkedln as often as the other three, I do need to maintain a presence on the website; I just don't need to check notifications daily and get overwhelmed with (or compare myself to) what other people have achieved in a short amount of time.

Initially, Instagram was the hardest to take a break from. Prior to logging out of my account, I went through and unfollowed a large number of accounts. I was randomly following a bunch of aesthetically pleasing cafes and hotels in NYC that I may one day visit with friends, but in the present, it clogged my feed and made me wonder, "Why am I not there? Everyone else's feed looks so beautiful because it's filled with pictures from cafes and hangout spots!" There was that comparison again. I created a Google Doc where I kept information from accounts I was interested in but didn’t necessarily need to follow daily. You may just need to pare down what accounts you’re following instead of taking a full social media detox.

After a few days of experiencing a cleaner feed, I decided to move forward with a month-long break from Instagram. Once I got back on Instagram, I went through another round of unfollowing. This allowed me to truly follow what I was interested in seeing! Taking an inventory of accounts helped me gain insight into what made me happy and what didn’t.

You may just need to pare down what accounts you’re following instead of taking a full social media sabbatical.

Lessons Learned:

Removing social media apps from my phone was the first step towards not constantly checking notifications.

Even while logged out of Instagram, you can still check accounts online. Talk about a blessing and a curse! The first few days I was logged out of Instagram, I found myself checking a few public accounts every now and then — yes, I admit it! I slipped up in the beginning, but it got easier and easier to avoid as the days went on.

I kept in contact with the people I had the strongest relationships with.

Acquaintances became just that due to a lack of effort on both parts. Ironically, my acquaintances were the ones I was comparing myself to the most. I attribute this to the fact that I know less about their lives, so everything seems “perfect,” when perhaps it isn’t. For those closest to me, I understand more of a “complete picture” of their lives, which helps temper any comparison when only seeing their highlights.

As an introvert, I often need alone time to recharge.

This is probably the biggest thing I realized. I never really considered myself an introvert because of how "social" I was on social media and how every one of my followers at the time called me a "social butterfly". However, I found that during my time off social media I had more mental energy to spend with friends and family, and during these interactions, I was completely present. I felt better off sometimes alone, but most of the time with the people I was closest to (those who knew me for years, and not for the couple of months I was on social media for).

My productivity skyrocketed.

At work, there was no real way to procrastinate, so that remained the same. But at home, and out of work, I had more time to work out, get outside, read, write, somewhat learn how to cook, etc. Whereas prior to the break, I had my eyes glued onto my phone screen all (or most) of the time, I felt free from the tight grasp that social media bounded me with.

I saved money.

Because I wasn’t constantly bombarded with ads or posts with the newest “it” item out there, I wasn’t tempted to shop for things I didn’t really need. This was definitely an unexpected, albeit welcome, benefit!

Moving Forward:

I logged back into Facebook.

Facebook has been the easiest for me to let go of in my daily life. I got on Facebook when it was first released, meaning I’ve become “friends” with people from all parts of my life: middle school, high school, and college. This led to a high number of connections that I don’t consider part of my current network or have lost touch with. While you can go through and unfriend these accounts, I didn’t feel like constantly working to keep my newsfeed up-to-date. There will always be those random friend requests from people you met once or someone you went to high school with years ago.

I deleted my Instagram account.

This was a big shocker to many people. How could you delete an 18k Instagram account you worked so hard for, are you insane?! That was the most popular question I got asked by my "Instagram friends". Let's face it, Instagram isn’t going anywhere, nor is my interest in the content produced on the platform. It was so refreshing to take a 4-month break from Instagram, and I found my balance from that schedule and it has made me happy. Perhaps this may not work for some people, especially as our world evolves and technology increasingly plays a role in our lives, but I realized that preaching mental health matters on an entire account is just as important as actually taking the steps towards it yourself. Instagram is currently the biggest one out there with millions of people constantly on it so my only advice for those who are considering a social media detox is to find a healthy level of interaction with the app. Have I found that balance? Not quite yet, but I’ve made progress. As our world is constantly changing, our ability to monitor our actions and emotions will need to change with the world as well.

I kept the LinkedIn app off my phone.

Waking up in the morning and not seeing little red notifications on my screen has helped me start my day the right way. This was a great choice because I felt like Instagram and Linkedln were taking up the majority of my time and was toxic as is (with all the back-and-forth comparisons) and resorted to only checking Linkedln via a laptop. If you're the type of person who loves to job hunt or wants to switch careers, I understand the need to keep the Linkedln app on your phone for constant updates. While this is my personal experience, needs vary from person to person, and it's up to each individual to figure out which app is truly worth their time. This is one of the biggest (and most difficult) steps to take when it comes to social media detox.

I never logged back into Snapchat.

Snapchat was not hard for me to let go of. Sure it was fun (and scary if you're into the scary filters), and my little cousins loved the filters, but in the end, it wasn’t a platform I felt I needed in my life.

Ultimately I had mixed emotions about taking an entire social media break. This is a difficult process for some, or many, that may never end. But likewise, it's also a learning process because you get to discover where your place truly is. At the end of the day, I did notice a major difference in how I felt on a daily basis without the accompaniment of social media (and obviously, it was a good difference). While I decided to get back to some form of social media, I realized that relationships take work, online friends aren't going to cut it in any way (and definitely don't make up for the real-world friends who are always beside you), and that social media tends to give us a false sense of connection within our networks. Seeing what someone is doing via social media versus having an actual conversation about their day-to-day experiences can result in two entirely different relationships. Moving forward, I plan to intentionally work toward stronger relationships with friends and family outside of social media.

Have you ever taken a break from social media?